Sunday, April 03, 2005

Want To See All The... DEMONS??!?!?!?



Ever feel like... there are DEMONS following you around everywhere?
Making you drop that felt pen on your clean white shirt?
Making you stub your toe as you're walking out the door?
Have you ever wanted to see them, crush them, squeeze their little eyeballs out for causing you so much... so much tzuris?!?
Well, have I got the answer for you!
Just read the following passage from the Babylonian Talmud tractate of Blessings (page 6, side 1), and start taking control of your DEMON problems TODAY!!!

It has been taught: Abba Benjamin says, If the eye had the power to see them, no creature could endure the demons (that occupy the world around us). Abbaye says: (The demons) are far more numerous than we are, and they surround us like the ridge round a field. R. Huna says: Every one among us has a thousand (demons) on his left hand and ten thousand on his right hand. Raba says: Fatigue in the knees comes from (demons). The wearing-out of the clothes of the scholars is due to (demons) rubbing against them. The stubbing of toes comes from (the demons). If one wishes to see them, let him take the placenta of a black she-cat, the daughter of a black she-cat, the first-born of a first-born; let him roast (the cat's placenta) in fire and grind it to powder, and then let him put some into his eye, and he will see them.

Who said our Sages didn't have all the answers?!? Though I think they left out the obligatory eye of toad, tongue of newt... didn't want to be redundant, I guess...

3 Comments:

At 9:15 PM, April 03, 2005, Anonymous Yomama said...

Way too esoteric for me!!!

 
At 11:08 PM, April 04, 2005, Anonymous yopapa said...

Youse must be one o dem deep jews

 
At 10:18 AM, April 05, 2005, Anonymous Yomama said...

Yep, we grow 'em smart where I'm from!

 

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