Friday, April 15, 2005

Who IS... PETER CHAMOR?!?!?!?

Who is Peter Chamor?

A. Nobody. He doesn’t exist. It’s PEH-ter chah-MORE, Hebrew for “initiation of the donkey”—a mitzvah, not a person.

B. Peter Chamor is to first-born donkeys what Pidyon Haben is to first-born Jews. If the owner disowns ‘em, they go to the Temple. If he wants ‘em, he gives the Temple a sheep or goat instead. Positive Mitzvah #81.

C. Before “holy cow!” there was “holy donkey!” This mitzvah distinguishes donkeys to pay tribute to their critical pack-animal role in the Egyptian Exodus.

How do I redeem my donkey?

1. Qualifying Criteria
Donkey must be the first born to Mr. and Mrs. Donkey. He must be male. He must be born naturally. He must belong to the Democratic Party. Just kidding. Owner must be an Israelite — Kohanim and Levites are exempt.

2. Hand it Over
Today, the Kohen serves as donkey collector in the Temple’s stead. Give him a sheep or goat (as long as it’s not dead, slaughtered or Caesarian-born), and Donkey’s yours to keep.

3. Make a Statement
A special blessing is recited when the exchange animal is designated, even if it hasn’t yet been given to the Kohen.

(Excerpted (well, stolen, really) from the article by Mendy Hecht -- image supplied by Moreinu v'Rabbeinu Yehoshua Coren, Principal Recruitment Homeboy for Shalem -- and when ChazarMaveth starts up its punk/metal/slash cover band, the above image will surely be in the top running for album cover...)


At 4:19 PM, April 15, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you jewish?

At 4:31 PM, April 15, 2005, Blogger Chazarmaveth said...

Th' fuckd'ya mean, "Am I Jewish?" Are you Jewish?

At 10:17 AM, April 20, 2005, Anonymous Shimmy said...

I am Peter Chamor.

At 11:26 PM, October 26, 2005, Blogger Esther Kustanowitz said...

Funny...sorry the photo didn't "win..." but it doesn't mean it's not a winner...


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